Love is a really funny thing. It is almost impossible to define and yet we seem to know when we are “in love” with someone. Most of the “love” we experience is cultural. What I mean is it is what the culture defines as love. It is not based on anything beyond the physical. I would call it infatuation. Of course I’m talking about love between a man and woman. But when you hear the phrase, I love you, you almost always think of a man and woman in some sort of relationship. Many times it isn’t based on commitment or connection of spirits. It is sexual in nature, which really isn’t love.
I was counseling with a young couple who said they were in love and wanted to be married. They were very young and neither one of them had a job, but they were “in love”. He even had her name tattooed on his arm. That was the evidence he had of his undying love for her. They broke up while I was still counseling them. They never got back together. She moved out of the state and he still has the tattoo, and is dating someone else. Love is extremely superficial in most people.
Love is deep. It is based on spiritual connection. It’s based on the eternal. It’s commitment at the highest level. It’s a retired couple who refuse to part when disease racks one of their bodies. It’s rescuing someone at the risk of your own life. It’s giving your life away. It’s not words, its deeds. It’s not saying I love you. It’s doing I love you. It’s recognizing someone’s faults and committing to them anyway.
I love my biological grandkids beyond reason. I mean, it probably doesn’t make sense to most people. They bring so much joy into my life that it’s hard for me to put into words. I can’t wait to see them. When I have a bad day, I will stop at one of their houses and they instantly cheer me up.
So…….I was troubled by the thoughts I was having concerning adopted grandkids. I thought that I would have issues with loving my adopted grandkids as much. I hope you know what I mean. Some of them are from other countries, some different races and I had not been put in a position like that before. You just don’t know how you’re going to respond until you’re in the situation. I prayed and pondered. I wondered and wallowed. My heart was flip-flopping.
Then I saw him. My first adopted grandson from Kazakhstan and my heart was forever connected to him. Love is odd, have I said that already? You love all your kids as much, but not the same. It’s hard to explain. The volume’s the same, but love is customized to every person you connect to. I never questioned again if I could love adopted kids as much as biological kids. We have 5 biological grandkids and 12 adopted grandkids. I love them all with a very unique and customized love for each.
Love is a really funny thing.